Family work has the power to BIND us together. How often do we underestimate it?

To begin, I would invite you to ask yourself these questions: What is the role of a father in the family? What is the role of a mother? How have you seen both work together for the wellbeing of the family? What has been your personal experience with this?

I come from what may be known as a "traditional" family. And honestly, I never really thought anything of it. It seemed like something that everyone grew up with. I had a mom, dad, and five siblings (including a twin brother). And both my parents came from very similar family structures. Not only that, but much of the community/neighborhood I've been surrounded with also have this "classic" or "traditional" family structure. It's what many people would call the "picture perfect family in a 'cookie cutter' neighbor hood."  So up until a certain point, nothing seemed extra special about it. However, through longer life experience and increased exposure to different family cultures and structure, I soon quickly learned that my family IS viewed as 'quite odd' in the eyes of many. And might I add, even "out of this world."

As I have pondered more about it, I can think of many occasions where someone had ask my parents "Are these all yours?!" or "What a beautiful family. It's a shame we don't see them very often anymore." And as a child I just assumed that either it was just them believing that, or...we were just special.

These thoughts, along with my own reading, led me to this key idea I discovered in a BYU article entitled "Family Work." It explained:"The daily work of families--the ordinary hands-on labor of sustaining life--has the power to BIND us together." What an interesting thought. The first idea that came to my mind was thinking back to all the times my family has had to pick up limbs from our weeping willow tree in our back yard. It was a tedious task (especially to an 8yr old) to pick up limb after limb. However, discovering the fulfillment and JOY that would come when our whole family completed this yearly task together, helped me to experience REAL love and connection to my family members. No matter HOW annoying they would get in that process! haha

Despite this statement, and my own personal experiences with it, there is still, a common and widely accepted view that has been in development over the years. And it is this: "Many social and political forces continue the devaluation of family work." In recent news (as of this week) a new democratic law has been passed to fund childcare so that women may be involved in "the real work force" within a career and not 'stuck' within the home taking care of their children. And yet, no one seems to notice are care that this is openly happening. What do you think the underlying causes for this are?

This follow up question seems to deepen this thought: Who is 'free?'

Many of our waking hours are spent vacillating over these questions: "How can I gain more time with my family?" or "What can I do to make more money so that I may be 'free' to spending time with my family?" or "How can I do the most minimal amount of work possible, still gain a sufficient amount of money, so that I may have more 'free time?'

Something along those lines was mentioned within the same article:"Today a man feels 'free' if he can AVOID any kind of physical labor--Actual work in the fields is left to migrant workers and illegal aliens. Meanwhile, a women is considered 'free' if she chooses a career over mothering at home, freer still if she elects not to bear children at all." This contradicts the idea that 'family' and 'work' may go together. It is true that our society has changed to a point where our 'working hours' we would've spent WITH family are gone. However, what we may need to evaluate, is the way we spend our 'free time.'

Other common world views:

1) "Chief among these forces is the idea that because money is power, one's salary is the true indication of one's worth."

2) "According to this ideology, if one wants to make a difference in the world, one must do it through participation in the world of paid work."

3) "In a world that lauds the signing of peace treaties and building sky scrapers as the truly great work, how can we make such a big thing out of folding laundry??"

That is a valid point for many of us today. How is folding laundry of any impact on the world?

I have found myself often caught in this thought process. Day to day life can seem insignificant and even unimportant to the many great 'accomplishments' that take place throughout the world. And it can be discouraging, especially within the walls of a home, when we think our efforts to 'make a difference' are small and of little meaning. We loose a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction in our lives.

However, another idea mentioned in the article, counters that argument very well. It states: "The important events are NOT the greatest ones, but the infinitely numerous and apparently inconsequential ordinary ones, which, taken together, are far more effective and significant."

Here are my thoughts on this. There is a scripture in the Book of Mormon, that I will paraphrase, says: "by small and simple things are GREAT things brought to pass." Our day to day life and the development of our relationships overtime within a marriage and family has an eternal significance. It is BEYOND anything else, and we really can't comprehend it. There is great power and wisdom gained in what the world would normally define as "menial tasks" within the family. As I stated before, family work is designed to strengthen and bond the family.

"Family work: Is more important to family building and character development than economic products." Family work is humbling work. It helps us to acknowledge the fact that we experience unavoidable interdependence. We are encouraged (even required) to "sacrifice 'self' for the good of the whole." I know that my family environment has taught me more than any class or book ever could. The experiences that are gained and relationships developed, impact the decisions and overall culture of society. So while money and economic knowledge is important, we ought to be careful not to underestimate the 'binding' and developing power behind the family.

I will end with this "And so for OUR sakes this work seems mindless, menial, repetitive, and demeaning. This daily tolling is in honor of life itself. After all, isn't this temporal work of tending to the necessary routine currents of daily life, whether for our families or for our neighbors, the work we really came to earth to do?" Working together as a family brings not only our greatest satisfaction, but creates powerful and emotionally intelligent individuals. We need those in this world... and strong working families too.

Sources:

https://magazine.byu.edu/article/family-work/