What really IS love?

This week was SO eye opening to me. I always assume I know quite a bit about certain topics, and then quickly come to realize that I really don't! This reminder came to me as I learned more about the "dating vs hanging out" idea. And surprisingly (but also kind of not surprisingly haha) "love" and "dating" are topics that I have little depth or knowledge about. In fact, the average individual in today's society does NOT really understand or comprehend the fulness of this subject. The common "trends" and "dating culture" that exist today are SO powerfully influential on our young adults. The new "norm" continues to develop, often world wide, and creates a significant change in the WAY we both view and experience standing concepts. And in this case it is both "love" and "dating."

To me, LOVE is in a fascinating concept. It is a PROCESS. It looks different to everyone. Something that I read, which is shared in a book called "The road less traveled" by Scott Peck, is the definition of "love." He explained:

"No one ever, to my knowledge, arrived at a truly satisfactory definition of love. In an effort to explain it, I define love thus: The will to extend one's self for the purpose of NURTURING one's own or another's spiritual growth."

And I thought that was a very interesting idea. I have come to realize, for myself, that love really IS "extending one's self" beyond the natural tendencies of our "human nature," and its is nurturing ourselves AND others. I often forget that expressing great love for "oneself" is also vital to our wellbeing. The average person overlooks the TRUE significance and meaning of love. And it is important for us to further develop our understanding and obtain a "broader perspective" of what ideas we may be missing and/or are currently disconnected from.

I remember growing up watching a TON of barbie and princess movies. And my common thought throughout EACH movie was: "I need to find my TRUE love!" (aka my Prince Charming) in order to KNOW what this "true love" really is. And as I reflect on that now, it is so fascinating to think about WHAT I have observed "love" to be over the years, and HOW that has changed and evolved as I've matured and have gained more life experiences. I still believe in the phrase "happily ever after" but it definitely looks very different than the classic "fairy tale" storyline. It is truly a process in understanding what love REALLY is and what it should "look like." And I believe that it is a common question among many individuals around the world. We all interpret it differently. In my readings I further grasped that, "Love is complex and varied, and means different things to different people at different times."

"All of us, heterosexual or homosexual, male or female, have a NEED for the love that is found in romantic relationships...research on the brain indicates that humans are "hard wired" for love." It is true that our very "human nature" has been researched to find that we have an actual biological NEED for human connection. But not only that, we need to develop both friendships and romantic relationships.

Here are 8 qualities of love and friendship:

1. Enjoy being with each other most of the time.

2. Accept each other as they are.

3. Trust each other to act out of concern for the other's best interest.

4. Respect the judgements of each other.

5. Help and support each other.

6. Share experiences and feelings

7. Understand each other's feelings and thoughts.

8. Feel at ease with each other, so that the relationship is based on openness and honesty rather than pretense.

Love includes all of these qualities. When you ponder these questions, think about the relationships you have in your own life. What do they look like? How would you like for them to improve? And then, think about YOUR definition of love. And if it's not what you'd like it to be, then how could things improve? Love can be interpreted in many ways, but it can be expressed how you choose to define it.